You are highly intuitive and emotionally smart, and so was your mother who taught you.

It is one thing to read another person correctly, another thing to love and respect yourself — and you managed to blend the two skills.

I often read stories from women who don’t seem to care that their self-preservation is near zero when dealing with dates or potential mates. They will identify an abuser after the abuse, and should, but they do not have the courage to look deeply into themselves and accept their blind spot or naivete (sky high optimism), their succeptibility to flattery and to being manipulated, or their inability to say no to someone who doesn’t come across as quite right in the first hour… I wonder about that often.

I often interpret that as a symptom of a fatherless society, the absence of benign mature male voices in the culture and in many homes.

Your writing made me think that it takes only one parent with solid self-respect and instinct to reach their daughter and influence her awareness in such a way that she will think before she chooses intimacy and to prepare her for the revelation “I matter”…”I matter in this too…”

It is hard to write about that and find the right words. By right, I don’t mean the least offensive vocabulary, but the words that reach deep into the psyche and trigger a revelation, from where healthier perceptions can grow.

I agree with your list. I will think whether I have something to add to it. I guess we have to watch for signs of immaturity and maturity and disrespect and respect early on and trust what we see… Not look for excuses or for reasons to rush connection.