What a great writing. Sensitive, well researched, and confident.

The idea to date people in the medium attraction spectrum sounds sane to me. You can pay better attention to who they truly are, and you give them a chance to show you.

When you are too fond of someone, you tend to overestimate them, and the mind projects all kinds of positive traits on them. Such a bias makes you a pretty pleasant person for the recipient of your affection, while he (or she) hasn't even given you a clue about his (her) character.

A popular meme on social media - that must belong to a writer who remained unmentioned - expressed something quite deep: "The Buddhists say that if you meet somebody and your heart pounds, your hands shake, your knees go weak, that's not the one. When you meet your soul mate, you'll feel calm. No anxiety, no agitation."

When the body responds to a new acquaintance with anxiety, agitation and a pounding heart, it is to suggest that this is what you will get more of - with that person.

Unfortunately, we have mistaken that with feeling "alive" and the early stages of "falling in love". It likely has to do with early childhood experiences, as you pointed out, a general sense of feeling "bored" with daily life and obligations, and the craving for stimulation and distraction from routines.

However, if we meet someone who feels very safe and very secure, the physical sensations won't be as intense, and we might think of them as "friendly" - versus a "challenge" -, and our nervous system is not triggered, but feels pretty good.

That initial "pretty good" feeling is your body's signal that you will get more of that - with that person.

The key to attracting a good partner is to create a life that you don't want a vacation from. Then, these "safe", "friendly" feelings with another person will feel so wonderful. You will consider yourself blessed to be able to share them.

I enjoyed this article. Thank you.