Very deep insights. Very well written, Emily. Follow the logical consequences of your ideas in the coming years. :)

Although I have always been a nature lover and therefore have a different lifestyle than the one you describe, I had a similar epiphany about a decade ago. I too was already an adult, used to "adulting", not someone new to life.

And that was, that self-care had never been a priority for me. That I was unfamiliar with the concept and the execution of self-care. That my energy up until then had been spent on others and on goals that did not truly benefit me. And ... that I wanted to know how it felt to take better care of me. Not only in sensible ways -- like sleep, food intake, avoiding toxins, taking myself out of harm's way again and again; and sleep used to be the biggest challenge among those, for me --, but also in the ways that fed my heart and soul.

I changed my patterns slowly. Often with amusing, in retrospect, scenes of self-doubt, indecision, trying to talk myself out of it with plenty of convincing reasons... And always with a beating heart.

I have to say, it was one of the best decisions in my life. I am still on the journey. I like it!

Best to you. :)