Utterly true.

All the people whose magnetism delights us did not catch our attention and our hearts by sending us pictures of their genitals.

They either did something unusual that left an impact or had something in their manner that motivated us.

I have observed that men even more than women get intrigued by the one who never gets into their face and whom they can miss.

It is not about putting on an aloof and secretive act — but about having a life, not seeking approval (by doing what everyone else is doing), having self-respect.

That in itself is a terrific mindset.

People who meet a person with that mindset become curious, let their thoughts wander to her / him… The fact that we keep thinking about someone makes them more desirable in our perception.

All that ties into perceiving them as sexy as well. Maybe it is not the raw hormonal reflex to “hot” - sexy — though, who knows , stranger things have happened—, but sexy in a way that is appetizing, that we want more of, that we want to think of again and again…

Men who can’t impress women, or you, will talk you out of holding back a bit. Women who can’t impress a man they like except by throwing themselves at him (which lasts, how long exactly, a split second?) will deny that attraction needs time to build.

Let these folks share their self-soothing narratives that show zero results in reality; maybe they need their stories and mental constructs to cope.

Mind you, I didn’t make “it” (allure, attraction, the perception of sexy, erotic tension) that way —I am just observing… and having enough introspection to admit it.