‘Mudita’, the Buddhist concept of sympathetic joy, is ‘too far out’ for a narcissist. They can not express it, because they don’t feel it.

Animals living in groups, children, and open-hearted people feel happy when one of their own experiences some kind of good fortune, receives some kind of advantage, is recognized for their efforts, or just has a lucky day, maybe meets a new friend for life, the perfect match and future spouse, or some kind of benign news that makes their day cheerful.

Some people also can be happy for another person who is not close to them, because we intuit that what was possible for them may be possible for us (one day)... and because it is also more fun to be in that field of friendly vibes.

Narcissists can not connect with that generosity and “vibing joyfully with joy”, because they don’t really experience it.

I am not sure why that is.

I observed a lot of annoyance and abrupt responses when someone they knew or heard about brought good news, even sudden break-ups with people who had what to a casual observer would appear like a really positive news. (Even a positive news for the narcissist!)

Instead of even a more neutral response like, “Oh, really? That is pretty good.. Hmm... Okay.. why not..“, there is a rapid disconnect. They remove themselves because they don’t want to be around smiling or laughing people and warmth…

They are drawn to tension instead.. They might make an attempt to introduce tension, for example, by commenting on some flaw or lack in a celebratory moment, then, disappear from the gathering..

“I see you are happy, good for you, keep doing what you are doing”, is not something a narcissist is capable of expressing. No “thumbs up” from the heart, ever.

I am adding that because such behaviours can be noticed quite early in the interaction… whereas most others will reveal themselves after a while, not right away.