It is true: those who pay attention to their feelings and discover themselves will realize the power of boundaries.

Boundaries are a durable solution; choosing what you genuinely want is a durable solution. Complaining, debating, arguing back and forth, expecting "change" from personalities who show that "change" is (definitely) not on their radar is a big waste of energy.

Years ago, I heard the suggestion that boundaries are a big gift to the person on the receiving end too. Because, it would help them mature too and have a journey of their own and become a better person. Back then, the suggestion did not impress me; it rattled me. I let it sink in, though.

Years went by. In the meantime, I have heard many testimonies from men (and some previously "lost" or problematic girls - the anti-goddess type, if you will) who have become decent family members, loving partners, very good parents... Surprise, surprise: the majority of them admitted that they were not born with those traits. And that the ex who showed them boundaries was the catalyst for a major inner awakening. The pain of feeling rejected and losing another "fan" — for unacceptable behaviour — ended up being the best thing that happened to them.

Thank you, Jennifer, for your article.

I have observed that 2020 has been the year when patriarchy has died, and that a new era has begun. So far, I don’t perceive that shift in the mass media. On the ground, however, where it counts more, I do.

People who did not get a therapist while sheltering-in-space thought about their lives, and thinking initiates processes of self-awareness and behaviour modification. I have noticed a lot of changes — a growing self-love, reorientation, fresh thoughts and plans — in the people I know. It happened quietly. It happened from within.