Compelling… and understandable that someone as expert at mind games as your ex shows himself as a human being, capable of consoling someone when they most need it.

That also explains the confusion… and off-on-off-on attraction to him, after being raised by a mother who is utterly self-absorbed. I admire how you fight for your sanity, for your ability to function, and for what you thought was your future.

Your story is so well-written and honest, full of surprises.

It helps me project alternative plots to chapters I had closed “prematurely”, or so I felt back then. In hindsight, I made the right choice, although I didn’t have all the facts in place, and it was scary to do. I just couldn’t do it to myself anymore. I was exhausted by the cycles and the inability to rely on someone I felt I should be able to trust. Relationships with addicts are disorienting, hard, very stressful. There is always something unexpected that feels like a fresh wind in the chaos, promises a better day, and ends up being depressing news with long repercussions.

You capture that very well. I am glad you wrote down your story. Thank you from my heart.